Monthly Archives: September 2018

The learning cycle + the messy middle.

When I started my coaching training back in 2006, they presented us with the learning cycle you see above. Basically, you start off not knowing everything you don’t know. (You know that saying, I thought I was a pretty good parent until I had kids? Kind of like that)

As you learn more about a subject, you become aware of everything you don’t know about it. This is when it becomes SO much more interesting! or frustrating as the case may be. We can be painfully aware of what we don’t know.

The good news is that if we keep going, we start achieving some mastery and competence… and then finally move into the zone where we aren’t even aware of all we know – it’s just second nature!

I’ve been thinking about this in regard to relationships lately.

  • I’m learning to stay aligned with my highest vision for relationship.

  • I’m learning to say no to what isn’t in line with that vision.

  • I’m learning to name feelings that I would normally have called “attraction” to naming them activation… which means that my nervous system is activated by this person. (It doesn’t mean this person is right for me. It might mean they are simply lighting up my wounded parts because they feel familiar.) I am learning to move more slowly and be more discerning.

  • I’m learning to make choices from the most grown up, self-loving part of me… the part of me that knows that I’m lovable, amazing and worthy of being adored.

That all sounds good, right? Except for the humbling process of now being aware of all the ways I can still betray myself! When I didn’t know (unconscious incompetence) I didn’t have to take responsibility. I could blame others. I could make up stories like, all the good ones are taken. That sort of thing. As I move along the learning cycle, I am finding my power. I am taking responsibility in a new way. And I am willing to be uncomfortable to be in the process because I know I am trucking along that curve!

This applies to any growing edge we are exploring in our lives – setting boundaries, being mindful, looking at our money.

What is your learning/growing edge these days?

It can feel like things get worse before they get better – mostly because we are finally aware of what we are learning. (My mentor and friend SARK calls this The Messy Middle) But here’s the good news: If you are experiencing the humbling discomfort of learning, it means you’re in the game. You’re in the arena. You’re doing the work. And I am here to high-five you today. Because it takes courage to do the work.

And did I mention you’re not alone? You are most definitely, not alone.

CSP #36 Midlife is Not a Crisis with Virginia Bell

Virginia Bell is a full-time astrologer and writer based in New York City. She’s written astrology columns for Refinery 29, TV Guide, US Weekly, and the Huffington Post. Virginia is also the the author of Midlife Is Not A Crisis: Using Astrology To Thrive In The Second Half Of Life.

 

 

 

When I’m feeling lost, I call in the healers.

Actually, even when I’m not feeling lost, I call in the healers! Intuitive coaching has been a huge part of my support system since my early 20’s. Something about the big picture perspective that astrology and other spiritual modalities offer, gives me a whole lot of faith when I’m not sure of where I’m going.

Sometimes I just need the affirmation that everything is unfolding as it should (that I’m not doing something terribly wrong, ha!)  that the choices I’m making are aligned with my heart + spirit. Enter some of the most incredible people to light your way! (They are all able to work with you by phone)

Virginia Bell, Astrology
I have a session scheduled for October with Virginia and I am so excited. I’ve been hearing about her for years through our mutual friend SARK and I just interviewed Virginia for my podcast. Virginia is the real deal. Wise, loving, intuitive. If you’ve been meaning to get your chart done, I highly recommend her.

Nancy de Heer, Intuitive Business Readings
The way these readings work is that Nancy records her voice as she looks at you + your business. Then she sends you the hour-long recording to listen to. Wow. Just wow. Her insights were a huge gift. A lot of it was very humbling… it was like she could see the private shadow stuff I go through each day and was able to name how these things were getting in the way of my joy + prosperity. All of it was filled with lots of love and compassion. I felt a huge energy shift in my work after this reading.
(p.s. Nancy is offering Superhero readers 10% off)

Juna Mustad, Intuitive coach + clairvoyant
Juna is beyond gifted. She is a brilliant coach + also has amazing intuitive gifts. Her wisdom has been life-changing for me. She is especially good at getting to those deeper layers… She always manages to take me to the most core places with so much grace. I’ve had massive healing experiences in her hands.

Laurel Bleadon-Maffei, Angel readings
Laurel channels a tribe of angels on your behalf + works with your guides. The whole experience is love-filled and oozing with wisdom. I get angel readings from Laurel every couple of months + they have guided my heart + spirit in miraculous ways. (Discounted sessions available by mentioning this post! Just $100 for a session)

Lynn Austin, Psychic medium
Lynn pretty much blows my mind every time. I’ve had many sessions with her over the years + she is ALWAYS right. It’s freaky. She channels loved ones that have passed (often knows their names) and delivers powerful messages that bring me to tears. Her readings are magical.

CSP #35 Anger + Boundaries with Juna Mustad

Juna Mustad is a Life and Relationship coach, an Intuitive, and a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner focused on helping people create healthy relationships, expand emotional awareness, and embrace their full potential. She combines her visionary gifts with body-centered therapy to help both individuals and couples, as well as organizations around the world.

You can find her at JunaMustad.com

 

My form of spiritual bypass – magical thinking.


If you have taken Mondo Beyondo, you know that one way we prepare for our dreams to come our way is to make a clearing. A clearing is a wide open space that tells the Universe you mean business. It is a space that you make in your heart, mind + home for the dreams you would like to manifest.

Even though I have been teaching this course for years, I forget how important this step is. Clearings can be anything from a de-cluttered closet to clearing your schedule for the weekend. It could be learning to set good boundaries (and saying no to activities that drain you) or having a big garage sale.

This summer has been a season of clearing. Big time.

Usually, when I make a clearing, it’s about de-cluttering, getting rid of the dust bunnies and getting all the schmutzy fingerprints off the walls. It’s going through the junk drawers and letting go of toys and clothing we don’t need.

This time though, my clearing looked a little different.

This time I needed to ask myself: What have I been afraid to look at that’s been getting in the way of my dreams coming true? The answer came immediately – money.

This was the thing I was most afraid of going into single motherhood.
I live in the Bay Area.
I’m an artist.
How the heck was this all going to work out?

And so I did a form of spiritual bypassmagical thinking.

For me, this looked like saying things to myself like: It always works out. You always figure it out. You’ll just earn more to make up for your new expenses.

As a mindset, this is actually totally reasonable! And on some level, absolutely true.

But without looking at the numbers, without creating a solid plan, my magical thinking could only get me so far. After two years, my little ship seemed to be sinking… so I called in an old photography client who is a financial advisor. As I told her my story + admitted how afraid and lost I was, I began to cry. It was the shame of putting it all out there, it was the admission of a kind of defeat, it was the vulnerability of asking for help.

She responded,”Oh Andrea, first of all, I’m so sorry. Second of all, we’re going get you through this. And you’re going to thrive.”

Through my tears, I heard one word that went straight to my heart – we. That little word assured me I had an ally in this lonely place – someone who had expertise, experience and lots of compassion.

Since then, I’ve been going through my numbers with a fine-tooth comb and really understanding where where my money is going. I’ve been looking at my numbing behaviors – media and the like – and noticing what my triggers are. (Loneliness, fear of big swaths of time without my kids, etc.)

I even created a gigantic post-it note that I see each day that details each credit card where I owe money + each place money is flowing in so that I am conscious of where I am. Each time I knock off a bit of debt it is so satisfying to cross the number off in black Sharpie and write a new one!

Mostly though, it’s bravely putting my attention on things that I’m not always comfortable looking at… seeing where I’ve been hiding + putting my head in the sand.

And here’s the best news: I’ve been feeling less afraid + more powerful.

Working with the truth has its own magic. Whatever you are hiding from, whatever truth is hard for you to face, is draining your energy. Looking at it with courage (and support) has a way of diffusing its power over you.

 

If you’re thinking about taking Mondo Beyondo, we start tomorrow! Even if you don’t take the course, consider making a clearing now. I am already feeling the transformation peeps!

P.S. If you are a Mondo Beyondo alumni, you qualify for the alumni rate! Just hit reply for the coupon code!

 

Real life magic + how it works.

10 years ago, I launched my very first online class – Mondo Beyondo! It started out as a blog post (every New Year’s eve) where I would encourage my community to ditch the resolutions in favor of the Mondo Beyondo list – a list of the most outrageously wonderful things we could imagine having in our lives. Things like: Meet Bruce Springsteen, have someone gift me a trip to Hawaii, write a bestselling book that changes people’s lives, have a baby….

By stretching ourselves into new territory this way, we calibrate our sense of what’s possible and uncover dreams we didn’t know we had. The process is intuitive and inspiring and serious magic tends to unfold from these sessions. Real life magic.

I’m proud to say that thousands of people have gone through this program over the years + it remains such a sacred offering to me.

Here’s a fun example of how Mondo Beyondo works:

When I created Mondo Beyondo, I wrote, “Have Alice Waters teach me to cook” as an example of an outrageous Mondo Beyondo dream. Her famous restaurant Chez Panisse is in my neighborhood and her renowned Edible Schoolyard is down the street from my house. We swim in Alice Waters so to speak. 😉 I was surprised when I wrote it down though because I never knew that learning to cook was a dream of mine! It was one of those dreams that surfaced from somewhere deep in my psyche and I was curious about how it would manifest.

A year later, a wonderful new friend (Samin Nosrat) and I hatched a scheme. We would do a trade. She would get Mondo Beyondo coaching and I would get a lesson in canning my favorite early girl tomatoes. This plan then got a bit more elaborate when she offered to come to my house to teach me the fundamentals of cooking based on a curriculum she was building. I was so grateful to be her guinea pig!

As I grocery shopped for our first lesson, I remembered that she used to be a chef at Chez Panisse, Alice Water’s restaurant. My Mondo Beyondo dream had come true!!!! in an even better package: in the form of Samin and a wonderful new friendship.

And guess what? That curriculum she was building turned into the NY Times bestseller – Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat + will be a show on Netflix this October 2018!) Her Mondo Beyondo dreams came true as well.

One of the things I’ve learned in the process of teaching Mondo Beyondo is that some dreams live inside other dreams.

Ideas that might seem outrageous or unnecessary actually have deeper, more precious dreams living inside of them. I get the image of nesting dolls. Inside my more outrageous dream of cooking with Alice Waters lived my dream to learn to cook simple, beautiful food. Inside that dream lives a dream that is about community and connectedness, nourishing family and tradition, and having more simple joy and pleasure in my life.

This Mondo Beyondo dream of learning to cook was like a missing puzzle piece… and with it, I was beginning to see the larger picture of my life more clearly. I was creating home.

The fall Mondo Beyondo session begins this Monday, September 10th! You can register below. Or if you’d like more details, go to this page.

And if you have taken Mondo Beyondo before, do you have any stories to share? What has come true on your list?

P.S. Alumni + scholarships rates available. Just hit reply + I will send you a coupon code for 50% off.