macchiato, Canon Digital Rebel

Photo Friday’s theme this week is “Best of 2005.” It was hard to choose which photo was my favorite this year. I was torn between this shot and the above image of the caterpillar. I chose this image because I had a more visceral response of wonder and delight to this beautiful little guy. He somehow gives me hope.

What are you most proud of from 2005?

Deb Talan and Steve Tannen, polaroid SX-70

The Weepies new album, Say I am You will be released March 7th with Nettwerk records {that’s the fab Canadian label that Sarah McLachalan is on folks. Hooray for them!}

The good news is that you can download any of the 13 new tracks (or download the whole CD at once) today through most of the big internet download sites, including: ITunes, Real/Rhapsody, Napster, Virgin, eMusic, and Yahoo.

labyrinth at Land’s End Olympus Epic

All I have to say is serious cute overload.

And for all of you who asked who the other four artists were that I sent jewelry to… They were Ben Harper (you all know how I crush out on that guy), Drew Barrymore (ever since ET), and Lisa Kudrow (someone gave me her address and I think she’s cool). I honestly can’t remember who the last one was so I must have a fickle heart for them!

A friend in the fashion business in Los Angeles was the one who suggested I send jewels to famous folks in Hollywood. What I discovered was that it felt really good to share my work with the people I truly admired, but the names and addresses that she gave me just for publicity made me feel weird and inauthentic. In the end, the people I had a real affection for were the ones that responded to me. I remember my cell phone ringing at 2AM one night and I grumbled in my sleep, ‘Who the hell is calling me at this hour?’ When I listened to the voicemail in the morning I heard Ben Harper’s voice thanking me for the necklace. I saved the message on my phone for months. If I could have bronzed it or encased it in glass I would have.

But something I recommend even more than this is to interview people you admire in business. When I started out, I interviewed Christine Miller from Swirly (who continues to be a great inspiration to me), Pixie who had a pajama company called Napcake, a friend who had had a successful clothing business and Emily Voth from Indigo Wild. {Of course my biggest mentors have been SARK and the incredible women I worked with at Camp SARK}

These conversations gave me the last bit of courage and inspiration I was looking for before I started my business, but they did something else that I didn’t expect. They provided a team of support that I drew upon for inspiration over the years. And because I looked to them as mentors and guides at the beginning, they were invested in my success in a wonderful way. I had created a team of allies simply by reaching out and asking for help.

the sign factory, Olympus Epic

I was passing by a warehouse last week on Bryant and was taken in by all the street signs inside. A man noticed me peeking in, asked if I needed help, and I bravely requested a tour. It was so cool! {and it turns out he was very flattered to have been asked} Behind the scenes of the guys who make all the signage in San Francisco. An odd little adventure in my day…

Note on Feria Urbana: I will no longer be doing my show at Feria Urbana tomorrow afternoon December 17th! Sadly, I had to cancel…

surfer, Ocean Beach Olympus Epic

“Those of you who are scattered,
simplify your worrying lives. There is one
righteousness: Water the fruit trees,
and don’t water the thorns.”
– Rumi

I smiled when I read this passage this morning. I smiled because of its truth, I smiled knowing that I have been watering so many fears and worries and what-ifs and it’ll-never-works and why-me’s… and I smiled because there is a way out. There is a way out of the tangle of sadness, out of the habit of sadness, and at this moment, I see that I have a choice: Where am I going to put my attention? What thoughts will I water today? Will it be the fruit trees or the thorns?

I had a tarot reading last night at a trunk show. We looked at my barriers to pregnancy and one of the cards that came up was about exactly this. She told me, “We get what we put our attention on. We know what we’ve been thinking about when we look at our lives. Our lives are a manifestation of our thoughts.”

I’ve been feeling very sorry for myself for a long time… And this morning, I can laugh at myself a bit. I can see that I am tired of telling the same old story over and over again (even to myself).

What story are you tired of telling?

This isn’t about positive thinking. This isn’t about denial or looking at the bright side. This is about creating and manifesting and causing magic in your life. This is choosing joy, choosing gratitude, choosing aliveness over fear and worry and cynicism.

It is simple but not easy. It is rigorous and it takes practice. It is a muscle to exercise. As it gets stronger it gets easier and more fun. It is a gift you give yourself.

It is being really present with the sadness or concern or anger or rage or joy. It is not resisting it, but embracing it. It is making a conscious choice.

I’ve been choosing the thorns for a while. I have felt their sharpness, I have seen how they protect, I have noticed how alongside the blooms, they can even be beautiful. But I am on a new journey, a new exploration.

“Mad with thirst, he can drink from the stream
running so close by his face. He’s like a pearl
on the deep bottom, wondering, inside his shell,
Where’s the ocean?”
– Rumi

I am that pearl. And I am laughing at the sight of water.