A little ode to Ben.


Ben in front of his lemonade stand, Berkeley, CA

“Do you know a song about the sun coming?” he asked me. “The sun is coming, the sun is coming…”

“Here comes the sun?” I asked and started to sing.

“Yeah,” he smiled. “Do you know that’s a Beatles song?”

I love this kid.

I love that when he got his first wad of cash, he grabbed a stack of post-it notes and adhered each dollar bill to the walls of his bedroom.

I love that a few weeks ago, when his tooth was loose, he worked it and worked it all day long –  blood on his fingers and lips – until he got it out. (He knew that with the $2 dollar bill he was sure to get from the tooth fairy, he’d have enough for Pokemon cards)

I love his lacy blue eyes and constellation of freckles on his nose.

I love the way he says, “Are you okay mama?” when he sees me cry, and then looks right into my eyes with so much love I can hardly bear it. A healing laser beam of love.

I love the songs he makes up in his room, pop songs with a hard edge, collections of words + phrases that don’t actually go together but are so free and flowing

I love how much he adores his little brother,  how every day he tries to hug him and kiss him. And even though Nico bats him away most of the time, he never gives up.


I love that in the middle of the night, when Ben is scared, he will go to Nico’s crib and hoist him into his arms and put him in his own bed for company.

I love that ever since he was an infant, he has had this bright spark in him. He is one of those people that is lit from the inside, someone you can’t help but want to be near.



Ben, Berkeley, CA

Ben, Berkeley, CA

*This piece was inspired by World Gratitude Day! A most lovely idea by Alexandra Franzen.



  1. Posted September 23, 2013 at 8:00 pm | Permalink

    SuperScher … this made me start weeping in the middle of a coffee shop attached to a Whole Foods. It’s that beautiful.

    And when I was a wee tot, I thought I “discovered” The Beatles, too. My parents were very amused. ;)

    Love this. Love you.

  2. Posted September 23, 2013 at 9:37 pm | Permalink

    I am thinking about making Ben’s light my life goal … I am not sure I am up to the challenge, but I am sure it will be worth the ride.

  3. Posted September 23, 2013 at 9:42 pm | Permalink

    Beautiful! What a gift you give him by sharing this… Posted this, as well as Alexandra’s page on *the gratitude project: dare to be grateful* FB page.

  4. Posted September 24, 2013 at 3:26 pm | Permalink

    I just realized another thing that I love about the posts about your family. You make me less scared of the idea of having sons. Boys always seem so loud and out of control to me – and maybe they are – but you show that they have a sweet side too, and that if you don’t train that out of them, they can grow up being sensitive and lovely. <3

  5. Posted September 24, 2013 at 4:32 pm | Permalink

    He IS totally lit from the inside! I see it in your photos. What a sweet tribute to your boy. :)

  6. Nicole
    Posted September 24, 2013 at 7:49 pm | Permalink

    I love that he gets Nico out of his crib to sleep with him!! My heart has melted….

  7. Posted September 24, 2013 at 11:27 pm | Permalink

    All I can think is how much I might love myself as an adult if I had these words written about me as a child, for myself to see (as he will). More, how he swims now in the atmosphere of your love. The beauty of boys..

  8. catherine
    Posted September 25, 2013 at 6:28 am | Permalink

    Gosh, beautiful.

  9. Sam
    Posted September 28, 2013 at 8:33 pm | Permalink

    He gets more beautiful every day :)

  10. isavoyage
    Posted October 12, 2013 at 8:32 pm | Permalink

    wonderful, beautiful Ben
    love your love andrea !

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